Abandon
by paxbanana
Summary: Korra's night after her brawl loss. Written before Episode 2 came out so not aligned with canon. Korrasami if you squint and tilt your head. one-shot


AN: Written before Episode 2 came out. Korrasami if you squint. One-shot.

* * *

She was tired. But that was what she was going for. Hopefully it would help her sleep.

Korra shrugged her bag off of her shoulder, feeling the ache of bruises. Throwing fights was its own fun in a way, though part of her buried pride stung at how easily she could have beaten her opponent. She liked to measure her performance by how many hits she could take, but she was angry with herself for taking that sucker strike. Her face paid the price, and now she felt feverish pain from around her swollen eye.

And yet pain in itself was good.

She walked slowly along the darkening streets of Gaoling's poor district, finding mellow enjoyment out of the lights shining from windows and doorways onto the dusty street. Comforting, maybe, if she was capable of being comforted. Familiar to her now at least. It was humid today, but the air wasn't as hot as she'd gotten used to while dragging plows through drought-dry soil for farmers willing to feed her in exchange for a strong back.

A mosquito landed on her arm, and she swatted it away, aware that malaria had been a rising problem despite the drought.

It had taken weeks to get used to these soft shoes; her arches had ached for days until her body adapted to the flat soles. Now though she could appreciate the texture of the cobbled road beneath her feet. Maybe she should start going barefoot, trying to sense the earth by vibration like Toph had once done.

…And look even more of a pauper than she did.

Despite living these last months on her own, scrabbling by with next to no money, Korra had very little respect for it. People fighting each other, killing each other, robbing each other, all for pieces of paper and a few metal coins. And for what? She was as comfortable sleeping beneath the night sky as under a tin roof, and she could trade a day's labor for a full belly as easily as taking a hit for a few notes. Maybe that was what Zaheer meant when he spouted his philosophy of anarchy. Then again, Korra had seen a town ravaged by bandits because there was no government force to protect them.

If only there was balance between the need for government and the simplicity of living without one.

Korra wondered vaguely if it would be worth it to trade the paper notes in her pocket for a room to herself at the dilapidated inn she'd frequented since her arrival in Gaoling last week. She wavered on the crossroad, caught between the desire for a comfortable bed, a warm meal, or a mug of beer. Like most things in her life, she had trouble committing.

"Yo."

At first, she didn't recognize the words were addressed to her. The gesture accompanying those words caught her eye. Korra's good eye flicked up and down the silhouette of the woman who spoke to her now, leaning out of a well-lit building. By the sound of it and the beer in the woman's occupied hand, it was a tavern.

"What?" Korra asked flatly.

"Come on in. I'll buy you a drink."

Well… She felt a vague twitch of distrust and then shrugged it off. She didn't have a damn thing that was worth stealing. Korra shuffled under the woman's arm into the tavern, surprised by the number of laughing people within. This place was lit by fire lanterns, not electricity, and the light given off was soft on her eyes, even the swollen one that transmitted a multicolored halo around each lantern.

As the woman pulled out a chair for Korra, she realized it was her opponent from the brawl. Jin, or something like that. She was taller than Korra, spindly muscle, and good bending skill. She looked different out of her fighting uniform: a set of trousers and a linen tunic. Jin leaned over the table to meet Korra's eyes on level. The posture gave Korra a clear view down the front of her shirt; Jin wasn't wearing an undershirt. Korra looked away after a moment.

"Sorry about the shiner."

Korra shrugged, accepting the beer Jin dropped in front of her. Jin used her foot to wrap around a chair leg and dragged it over with a screech. She plopped into it and had to steady herself with a hand. Drunk already, apparently.

"Did you throw that fight?"

Korra took a long drink. She'd grown to enjoy the malty flavor of beer as much as its mellowing effects. She took her time before she answered. "Why do you think that?"

"You barely attached me the whole fight." Jin took a gulp from her own mug and looked at Korra over the rim. When Korra didn't answer, she said, "Who are you?"

"Lee." Korra could almost make herself believe that answer.

"You want dinner, Lee?"

Korra reached into her pocket, but Jin had already signaled for two plates of food. It was some cheap Water Tribe knockoff, written up on a chalk sign as 'Sea Prune Noodles'. The noodles tasted like buckwheat, and carrots, celery, mushrooms, all of which were not found in either pole, were plentiful. The only hint of salt or fish was probably from a dash of fish sauce, not the rich saline ocean flavor of sea prune. The pieces of fish that floated within the broth were flavorless, freshwater bottom-dwellers no doubt. It would have been good soup if not for the damn name.

"Thanks," Korra thought to say.

"What brings you to Gaoling, Lee?" Jin asked.

Korra spoke around her mouthful. "Traveling."

"Home?"

"Don't have one." It felt so true it hurt.

After a few minutes of silence between them, Jin said, "You don't talk much."

Korra shrugged. Jin signaled for a third beer. Korra was still nursing her first.

"Was it your mom or dad?"

"Huh?"

"The earthbender. You look like water tribe. Thought I was wrong before about you having blue eyes. Pretty eyes."

Korra looked up to fix Jin with an expressionless stare. Her eye ached at this angle, and the sight on her left side dimmed as her lid closed over it. She ignored the flirtation; this woman's manner irritated her. "Why does that matter?"

Jin glared right back, clearly taking offense. "Because I fucking asked you."

"I don't answer to you."

Jin stood up violently; her chair shrieked as it scratched across the wood floor. "What the fuck is your problem?!"

Korra leaned back as she drained her beer and set the mug back down. She was tired of Jin, tired of her attitude and condescension. She'd eaten all she wanted anyway. On top of her exhaustion and the fact she hadn't been sleeping well, the beer made her head fuzzy. She braced her hand on the table to take her leave.

Then her head was spinning, and she stared up at the swinging lantern above her face. Something powerful had slammed into her face, she realized. She wondered if she'd passed out and thought she must have. Korra shifted, and new aches made themselves known. She got to her feet, shaking her head to clear the shadows that danced around her periphery.

Jin didn't wait for her to find her stance. She swung again, but Korra moved on instinct as she rolled her shoulder away from the blow. Jin, who was definitely drunk at this point, continued into her strike and threw her shoulder into the wall, shuddering the poorly built building.

"Shit, Jin, you already beat her up once. Lay off," another patron said, helping Jin back to her feet and steering her to a chair. He shoved her down and kept his hands on her shoulders. Someone else plopped a tankard of beer down in front of her, and the hum of conversation picked up once again.

No one helped Korra, not that she expected it. She was abruptly dizzy as she found her feet, but she was steady enough to grab her bag and stagger out the door. She heard Jin say, "I bought her fucking dinner!"

Funny, the woman sounded upset. Good for her. Korra wasn't upset, but her face felt like a pulsing melon. She was going to feel this for a few weeks.

She walked slowly down the street for lack of a better option. Maybe she could find a nice place to curl up and sleep her headache off. Korra's balance shifted abruptly, and she stumbled across the street and caught herself against a building. She closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth as she slid down to her backside, uncertain if she felt sick to her stomach. What a great cap to her day: throwing up her dinner.

She didn't throw up, but she fell asleep—passed out truthfully, but what was the difference—where she sat.

Her dream was vivid: she lay in bed naked, her knees aching from a lifetime of earthbending, watching a comely young woman strum a thin pipa and sing. She was liquid with desire and the certainty that this pretty woman would slide into her bed before the night ended. Bought with money, because Kyoshi thought it was reprehensible to sleep with a prostitute because of her status as Avatar alone. Money for sex. Barter, fair exchange, fairer because there would be mutual pleasure. The woman met her eyes and smiled so prettily as she sang.

"Asami." At the sound of her own voice, Korra jerked awake into the gray light of dawn. Her aches came to her on top of stiffness that had settled in. Her eye was swollen completely shut, and the skin around it felt tight and hot. Then she realized that her bag was gone, and with it her money. Korra wiggled her toes and gave a soft laugh; the thief had snitched her shoes as well.

"Well, I got my wish."

Never had she felt more alone.

All her life, all she'd wanted was this: to find out what it was like to live outside of the expectations piled upon her by the White Lotus. She'd wanted to live under the same roof as her parents; she'd wanted to experience the world; she'd wanted friends.

She'd experienced each now and knew that no matter how great her desires were for them, there were always drawbacks. This reality was good if only for its simplicity. She could do anything she wanted that day. No one woke her up, made her schedule, or dictated her next action. No one except herself.

And robbers.

Korra laughed, hauled herself up, and decided to let her bare feet take her where they would. This wasn't happiness, but it was freedom. She was okay with that.

-end-


End file.
